someone get that fucking seahorse.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do vagina's smell?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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