The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
