between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
