Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
