In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
