nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
