I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
