am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
