I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize