HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
