Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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