now i know why i became what i already was.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
