Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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