whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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