I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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