so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
