i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
