I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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