just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I touched a dick in church today
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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