recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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