I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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