...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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