You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
