I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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