Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize