I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
