the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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