She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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