the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
