Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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