I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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