Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
