So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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