Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
