Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
