i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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