Cold hands, warm shart.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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