Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
