Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
