I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
