I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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