i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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