just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
