no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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