okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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