i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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