the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
