You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
