Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
love makes seman taste better
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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