Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
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If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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