U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
