i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
did i just pee glitter
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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