a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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