my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is Oprah even human
well, you know. whores of a feather.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
