Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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