So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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