dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
