I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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